ORIGINS: We are fond of things that are hidden in plain sight. If you look at the wolves of the third character in the original series, you will see that each of them shares their eye and their ear with a rabbit. As for the flowers, you can blame the Brush.
It’s right there. That rabbit in my wolf’s sight. I can feel it steering me away from the moon. From the only thing that makes me feel less lonely, even though we don’t share the same world. The rabbit only sees a barren wasteland. Without flowers. Without grass. The rabbit is hungry, and it has no use for something that can’t even shine properly. I can feel its claws around my throat, telling me to do something useful with my voice. To howl at the sun, until green bleeds all over the land. But the sun and I, we live in two completely different worlds. There is no connection. There are no heartstrings, nothing I can tug at. And I can’t beseech someone with an unwavering light, someone who doesn’t know what loneliness is, to give me anything.
This is not how things are supposed to be. I am a wolf. Mine is the darkness nightmares are made of. I can feel it inside my mouth. It tastes like blood, and sounds like a haunting howl. Hopelessness is mine to command. Only I have the power to make the moon wane, time and time again. But there is a rabbit haunting me. It’s hidden in plain sight. And that is precisely how I feel. Like a plain. Like an endless stretch of grass. Helpless. For the first time in my life. Because that rabbit’s blood is out of my fangs’ reach, and the sound of its grazing drowns out every last one of my howls.
When I was young, I was told to walk in someone else’s shoes. I was a wolf, and I suppose that they didn’t want me to grow into a monster. But my fangs were what I used to spill blood, not my feet. And I always thought that if they wanted me to feel guilty, they should have told me to look at the world through rabbit eyes. Because there might have been a chance that guilt would have made me avert my gaze, but I know that it would never have stayed my feet. That I would have used those shoes to crush the first spark of guilt, before I really felt anything. No. If they really wanted to change me, they should have told a rabbit to wear my fangs. Because after I had seen that rabbit use them for anything other than spilling blood, I would have been all ears.
Do you see that rabbit? I have never felt closer to the moon. It’s not light, that rabbit is made of guilt, but it comes and goes. It waxes, it wanes, and sometimes, during my darkest nights, I even forget that it is there. But I wouldn’t take back a single drop of the blood I have spilt. Because the moon loves my gifts. And I feel like I have a piece of her, right here, in my heart.
I know that words aren’t enough. I will bring you some flowers to apologize properly as soon as I am done eating you. I will put them on your grave, I promise not to touch your heart, to let it rot away. But you would have eaten the sun, in the blink of an eye, and I couldn’t let you do that. I am sorry. But grass is green. The color of hope. And you have to understand, that the moon would never have worked its magic on me. Its light is too cold. And I need a hope that grows back. I need a hope that keeps me alive and shares my breath. Not one that slowly kills me, with borrowed words and false promises.
I have heard that there is a rabbit on the moon, but I don’t envy it. The grass may be greener on the other side, but the moon is a wasteland. There is no grass. Only light, that likes to play tricks. And who knows, maybe I would have fallen under its spell too, if space wasn’t so dark. Maybe I would have leaped and hidden on the moon too, if I didn’t know that the darkest nights live in the mouths of wolves. I may not be safe on this side, surrounded by wolves, but at least I don’t live in the mouth of one, dreading the day it finally gulps me down.
This is a perfect example of why you should always chew your food thoroughly. Rabbits like me take little bites of grass. But wolves are taught to swallow whole, and the ones that don’t have eyes for the moon, the ones that spend their days dreaming about the sun, they sometimes practice with little rabbits like me. Poor things. Someone should teach them that the only way to destroy something completely is to break it into little pieces. Until there is no hope of ever putting those pieces back together. Luckily for this wolf, I have always wanted to change the world, and I am sure that I will make a better teacher than the moon.
Grass. Dirt. Roots. Worms. Those are the things I know. But I don’t want to keep sleeping in a hole underground. There may be a field of wildflowers above me, but those colors aren’t part of my dreams. There will always be something familiar in the smell of those flowers, and I have no use for them. I have made up my mind. I will burrow into a wolf. Until I reach the darkness they keep in their mouths. I will sleep there and only there from now on. In that darkest of nights. Until I dream my own stars.
What would I do, if tomorrow all the wolves disappeared from this world? Pray that rabbits like me didn’t take their place.
Why do you ask useless questions? There will always be wolves. You have dogs. The universe has wolves. Look inside their mouths, you will find the darkness that marks them as property right there, between those sharper-than-starlight fangs. You love your dog, don’t you? You can’t live without it, can you? Loving it makes you a better person, and the universe follows the same logic as you. So, you see, those wolves won’t disappear anytime soon. Because the universe is cold and unforgiving, and it has the same need as you to spoil its pets. The only difference is that you use love, and the universe uses darkness.
The wolves are gone? Really? And they won’t be back? My heart is leaping. Thank you very, very, much. I can already tell that this time I won’t fall short. I will reach the moon, and finally put an end to that poor rabbit’s loneliness. I will share the good news with him. I will tell him that he can come back home. That it is finally safe to do so.
I don’t know. I have heard that the last time some wolves disappeared a river grew bigger, and I like those wildflowers over there. If you can promise me that they will be safe, that they won’t drown and the flood won’t wash away those pretty colors, then sure, I will rejoice with you.