A la vejez aladares de pez.
This proverb is about not wanting your age to show, it’s about dyeing your white hair pitch black. We chose it because the word for pitch (PEZ) could also be the one for fish (PEZ). And the word for earlocks (ALADARES) conjured up wings in our minds.
Halfway between the sea and the sky, in a place where hair comes alive when people grow old, that is where this story takes place. Although it would be more accurate to say that their hair is what makes people grow old. Because it gradually absorbs their life, so that a new creature can spread its wings and fly, one day, when they die.
In that faraway land there is a little boy, that has been eagerly waiting for the day his grandfather’s hair comes alive. And that day has finally arrived. The locks rearrange themselves. The little boy doesn’t know if he is looking at the fins of a fish or the wings of a bird, but he can’t avert his gaze. The little boy sees a black fish swimming in his grandfather’s head. And he smiles, because he knows that soon he will have a pet to remember the grandfather he loved.
I don’t mind giving all my life to another creature. I know that there is no worse curse than wishing someone a long life. I just wish I could choose what my hair will become. Because I don’t want a part of me to live on inside a bird. I wouldn’t be able to love a flying creature, that would waste all its energy trying to get closer to the sun, the moon or the stars. I know that that lack of love would weigh its wings down. And I don’t want to feel responsible for that. Not when I know that my love would be more than enough to allow a fish to become its own light in the darkest part of the ocean.
I can’t throw you into the ocean. Not yet. You are the only thing I have left, of someone I still love. I’m sorry, little fish, but you will have to wait. Until that love fades away, and I no longer need to keep you close to me. In the meantime, I will let you swim in my heart. It’s not as big as the ocean, but it was enough for the person I loved, and it should be enough for you too.
I don’t want to surrender my life. There are too many things I haven’t done yet, too many dreams I haven’t fulfilled yet. I can’t let a bird, a fish, or whatever you will become, cut my time short. I need more time. And that means that you have to go. This is goodbye. And I just wish I could promise you, that this will be my first and my last haircut.
I wish you all the best. A sky full of clouds and the darkest sea. A place where you can live your life as if it were a dream. Without ever losing the childlike wonder of experiencing something for the first time.
A new beginning. This time I will be a fish without shiny scales. I will try not to deceive anyone, I will try not to make anyone believe that I am the sun, sparkling in the sea.
A new life. As a black bird. This time I won’t let anyone convince me that I am unlucky, that the sun singed all my feathers and it would be best if I stayed on the ground. This time I will learn to sing. And I will fly higher than anyone else. Because no one will be able to touch my songs, my words, my heart.
A new beginning. This time I won’t let anything stop me. I won’t let anyone keep me from experiencing everything life has to offer. I won’t let anyone tell me that I am a freshwater fish. I will swim into the ocean. And even if the salt stings, I will keep swimming, farther than I have ever swum before.
I don’t want to leave you. The sky is too blue. It looks too empty, and I don’t want to be alone. I will stay here. With you. Using my wings to fan your memories. Letting you remember all the times you weren’t alone. All the times someone was there for you. I will fly here. Hoping that someday my future will look a little bit like your past.