ORIGINS: The peacock tail of the third character in the original series reminded us of a fan. A fan we would use to conceal the eyebrows of our characters, because that is where true emotions lie.
By the way, here too, the props are built from the eyes of each character.
I have found out that living, just like breathing, becomes easier if I hide my true emotions behind pretty flowers and flighty birds. If I let others guess, and see whatever they want. Anger and sadness only hurt me, and no one cares about my happiness. But at least if I keep the truth to myself, no one can use it to reach me. And I can use my trusty fan to block all the daggers aimed at my heart from outside.
Sure, why not? You are welcome to treat my mind like a ball of yarn. Go ahead, curious cat, unravel me. Find out what I love and what I hate, what I am afraid of and what can effortlessly break my heart. But don’t say that I didn’t warn you. If you play with roses, sooner or later, you will bleed. Something uglier and sharper than a thorn will stay buried in your flesh, and it won’t come out. Only your blood will. Until you too turn pale, and become as indifferent to me as I am to you.
Do you know what happens to iridescent peacocks when they spread their tails? When they can’t contain their joy and the wonder the world around them makes them feel? Someone opens their mouth and breaks their heart. Because most people don’t have stars in their eyes anymore or they never had them to begin with. And they can’t stand the sight of a joyful peacock that has more than a dozen eyes in its tail and a whole starry night shining in them. But I learned my lesson. And now I keep every wonderful thing I have to myself. I keep them safe, and I do my best to only show as much enthusiasm as those around me.
I see no reason to be any more truthful than a butterfly would be. I have seen them paint eyes on their wings. The worst kind of lie. One I refuse to tell, because I would never let someone else believe that they had seen my soul. I prefer to hide behind a fan. To make clear from the very beginning that what’s mine is mine, and I have no intention of sharing it with anyone else.
One clown is happy, the other clown is sad. One bird doesn’t understand why, the other bird doesn’t care. And maybe that is why the truest emotion I have is anger, and it will always be. No other emotion knows how to fly in the sky that is my soul. Neither tears nor smiles are warm enough, there is always something wrong, something that makes them feel a little bit too fake for comfort. But anger took wing as if it had been born for my sky. And it hasn’t touched the ground since. All the other birds, all the voices that have found their way into my head over the years, they have already turned black and come to rest on the ground, but my anger still burns bright.
The cat thought that he was being sneaky, but I could tell that he wanted my tongue. I wasn’t attached to it, there was nothing I felt like sharing, so, I let the cat have what he wanted. My tongue was gone in an instant, I barely got to see a black blur and, more importantly, I didn’t feel a thing. The cat was proud of himself. It wasn’t curiosity but greed that made him come for more. He wanted my thoughts next. And there was another blur, but, sadly for the cat, this one didn’t show enough claws. My thoughts stayed right where they were. And soon they will add a greedy cat to the smiles and the tears I like to keep inside my heart.
I don’t need a guardian angel watching over me. I already have peacock feathers willing to put a curse on everyone that looks at me with anything other than kindness in their eyes. Isn’t that what love is? Taking revenge. Until the hurt feelings of the person you love drown in the blood of their enemies, finally disappearing from your sight, so that both of you can pretend like nothing happened and everything is alright.
What good would that do to me? Sure, I could breathe life into the black clouds that cover my heart. I could turn them into a storm, no butterflies required. But even if I destroyed the world and forced it to acknowledge my feelings, nothing would change. My disappointment and my loneliness wouldn’t go anywhere. My heart would still yearn for something unrealistic, that no human could ever be to me. Because everyone else seems happy enough being just human, and living under those clouds.
You don’t know how to read this fan? Don’t worry, my love, mine isn’t a difficult language to learn. I love you to pieces and I will let you in on the secret. Two birds facing opposite directions, waiting for the wind to show them the way. You have your dreams and I have mine. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t enjoy the flowers and each other’s company while we wait. We are still too young to fly after what we truly want out of this life, and in the meantime love can be a beautiful pastime, don’t you think?
Do I really have to put it into words? The answer is no. I thought that it would be self-explanatory. I have already been unlucky in love. One black cat. Two black cats. The first time I loved with all my heart. Maybe you can’t tell that half the roses are red? The second time I did it half-heartedly. Red faded to pink. But the thorns were still there and it hurt just as much. And this is me telling you that the third time won’t be the charm. It will seal my fate. The roses will be white, and I will never recover from that blood loss. So, thank you, but no.
What is there to say? I like pretty things. It can be a poem or a bouquet of flowers, but if you want something from me, you have to give me something first.
Why would I want you to destroy the world in my name? I won’t deny that I am waiting for a butterfly, but I would never waste a good storm. If you loved me, you wouldn’t have eyes for anything else. There would be no need to destroy the world, because it would already have faded away. My butterfly would use its storm to rearrange the stars and change our fate. My butterfly would make sure that we had a happy ending, and the world didn’t destroy us.