The first word is EFFIGY, something that looks like the person you hate and is meant to burn. And the word that goes with it is DEWY-EYED, an innocent child.
The child used to have dew in his eyes. But someone showed him the ugly reality of the world, putting an end to his innocence. Now the child is standing in front of a bonfire, watching an effigy of the person he hates burn. The smoke gets in his eyes. Soon, tears replace the dew that used to be there. And for the briefest moment, the child glimpses the world that should have been.
All parents love their children. I read it in a book, so, it must be true. It has something to do with smells. That is why I love fragrant flowers. Because they remind me that I am loved.
Everyone has secrets, even flowers. They show some of their colors only to insects, and its ok. I can keep some things to myself, in a treasure chest, until I decide who to share them with. Until I find the perfect insect. One that would never hurt me, because that is not how trust works.
There is no such thing as an ugly flower. You just have to look closer. That must mean getting to know it, because I’ve been told that beauty is on the inside.
Every flower has a word of its own. There is a whole language! I think that the world would be nicer if we talked only using flowers. That way no one would be hurt. And the world would be much more beautiful.
I hate you. I used to have dew in my eyes. Now there is only hate. And it’s all thanks to you. If you didn’t want me to believe in fairytales, you should never have told them to me in the first place. How was I supposed to know that they came with an expiration date? Those fairytales were something that you chose to share with me. How was I supposed to know that they didn’t have a place inside you?
Thank you. So much. From the bottom of my heart. I always wanted to live in the real world. I always wanted to break the mirror and cross to the other side. Thank you for breaking the dew that kept me trapped. In my innocence, in my childish heart. I hope you pay sevenfold, the hurt you have inflicted on me.
Was it really that difficult to keep your mouth shut? You never taught me anything. I learned all my lessons from the fairytales I read on my own. You were never there. Why couldn’t you leave me be? What do you want from me now? Why is it so important that we live in the same world? I was perfectly happy where I was. I wasn’t drowning in dew. And I didn’t need you to save me.
Maybe I wanted to be a night owl, have you ever thought about that? You told me that dew belongs to the Night, just like dreams do. That they don’t last long under the harsh morning light. You told me that it was time to start living in the real world, that it was time to learn how to survive. What right did you have to force that light on me? I was fine living in the dark. I was fine pretending I could fly.
I burned you. I took my revenge. But it didn’t do me any good. The dew is gone from my eyes. I will never get it back. And these tears will never be an adequate substitute.
Why doesn’t it come back? I’ve met liars in my life, I know they exist. They told me the trick was getting rid of everything that threatened my happiness. I threw you into the flames. I watched you burn. Why doesn’t the thing you robbed me of return to me? Where is my dew? Where are the tears I need, to pretend that everything is as it should be?
I won’t give up. I will make another effigy. The flames didn’t work, because they were too far away from the night. Next time I will use fireworks to burn it. I will fill the night with fireworks. I will fill it to the brim. Until it weeps. I will get my dew back. And everything will be all right. I will be surrounded by pretty flowers again.
I loved you. I loved you so much. I thought that you loved me too. You were bedtime stories, you were the Night. You put dew in my eyes, you filled them with dreams. Why did you have to wake me up? I didn’t want to have to burn you. I loved you. But I see no other choice. I need that smoke, I need the soot you will become. To regain the darkness you took from me. And pray that my tears are enough, to undo the damage you have caused.